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Time:03:31 pm
"There is nothing to feat, but fear itself"

Using this quote and my own personal belief systems [epistomologies] I have ascertained [come tot he conclusion that] the master of fear is only one entity. Fear itself. Literally speaking fear is it's own master. Figuratively speaking once you become aware that fear is a slave only to it selfm you can break away from irrational fears [phobias] and become a more hopeful person.

I am 22 as I write this, but I feel like much older as even those lovely online quizzes commonly titled as phrased as "What is your mental Age" usually tell me. Quoting the title of one of my motto songs "Only Human" by Jason Mraz. makes me feel significant in the most unique way. Thinking of the way he used so many metaphors to convey what he does state in the title, is something a single song before has never done, to my current recollection, in one sitting.
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Subject:Grr to Communication Failure
Time:11:34 pm
Grr to miscomunication. I went for the annual Drag Show in South complex with CD in hand. Apparently I was supposed to meet with one of the committee members, and they were supposed to have me sign paper work and audition. Who knew? Not me. Sadly Mandy's decision was final. I hadn't liked her m uch since the “then get out comment” at the LBGTIQQA Student Leaders BBQ.

At least this response was better than last years where y email was blatantly ignored and then discussed among previous e-board. I did leave the show at intermission t do homework.
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Current Music:the sound of a fan outside of the muted headphones I am currently wearing
Current Location:United States, East Lansing, Beech St, 1135-1151
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Subject:Writer's Block: Come here often?
Time:05:00 am
Current Mood:amusedamused
What's the best pick-up line you ever heard (or tried)? What's the worst? If you're instantly attracted to someone, will a stupid pick-up line dampen your interest?

For some reason, I find these questions silly, maybe it's because I don;t have writer's block" But I have found all cheesy lines along the borders of idiotic and mundane. If you need a pick-up line, please step to the back of the 'line' please just be genuine. Interest me with yourself not a canned idiomatic phrase from a societal normative.
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Current Location:East Lansing
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Subject:It was awesome.
Time:09:56 pm
Current Mood:cheerfulcheerful
Whew. OMG! Wow. I feel pretty darn awesome right now. I finally, finally had a chance to chill with someone that I had been trying to chill with for what would about to about two years now. Things were an hour delayed. Overall, tonight we spent about an hour and ten minutes together. I had offered to give him a back massage previously, so of course I kept my promise. We talked for a while before I got into giving him the massage, and before we got to the house we also had time to talk and get to catch-up a bit with one another's personal lives. After a while, of massaging him,he seemed to definitely be enjoying what I was doing, so I kept at it, he said I was pretty good at it. I smiled. I asked to see his front side, and well thing s went from there., I guess to keep things PG, he enjoyed every last thing that I did to him with my tongue, well expect for that brief moment I sucked his tongue a bit too farm into my mouth. Little too much tugging.

Next time around I do hope we get to chat more. I wouldn't mind giving him another back massage, I think I like him even more now. He's a pretty decent guy. As we parted for the night, he said he would be around for the summer, and we agreed that we should hang again. I really, really enjoyed my time with him. His personality, his lips, his smile, his smell, his taste. Alright. I'll stoop there before I go to far.Oh I did find a few places that he was ticklish. That's always a fun time.
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Subject:Seriously?!
Time:10:30 pm
Wow. I use the words idiot and dumb fuck sparingly, but Eric and his girlfriend just about earned those titles. His girlfriend seemed intelligent and civil when I first met her, but just now overhearing her conversation with Eric slightly in which they were attempting to come up with rude, creative, "funny" names for something, one of which was creepy-weirdo. I'll chock that ignorance up to lack of experience. Currently, I cannot wait to just randomly start talking in Spanish around the house. Thus far, I have only done so in my room for the most part,. and I have also listened to music in Spanish, such as the styling of Juanes and Sin Banderas. I suppose if I catch Eric outside of his room saying something stupid, I should talk with him about it since he seems like he could be lacking in the area of subtlety.
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Current Location:East Lansing
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Subject:Another one down
Time:08:00 pm
Current Mood:cheerfulcheerful
I have now met another one of my house mates with the name of Chris. In total, there's myself Chris, and Eric on the second floor and John, nicknamed Creeps, living in the basement, as well as so far two other unknowns living on the first floor. Out of all the guys I have met that live int he house so far Chris seems to be the most leveled headed out of the bunch. News outside the events of the house of shenanigans, I called Ricky today and found out he knows Spanish. I totally had not even thought about asking if he knew another language other than English, but now that I think about it his accent totally makes sense now, duh. Sad note, he doesn't like talking to people in Spanish if he knows that they know English. He would rather have them only talk to him in English. I did already tell him that I will randomly talk in Spanish. Well, I will just have to see how that all goes, right?
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Subject:Church
Time:09:30 am
Current Mood:accomplishedaccomplished
I went for a walk today. I had forgotten how many of the streets discontinue as one goes from Harrison to Hagadorn. It was an enjoyable walk, but it did make me wonder if a walk to church each Sunday would really take me 45 minutes. I would be surprised to find out how many people would remember my name without my name tag. I think I may remove my name tag for a time to see if anyone is able to recall correctly. I am very tempted to see about getting a ride back to my place. Church was alright I filled out a form to be contacted about teaching Sunday School for the younger children high school, kindergarten, etc.
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Current Location:East Lansing
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Subject:Paying Rent
Time:04:30 am
Got the rent, $700.00 for Sante (our landlord). Work was boring as usual. I do need to figure out a non-caffeinated way to stay awake while working. It may have possibly been that I ate nearly an entire "Chipotle" vegetarian burrito right before going into work. Over the time I've worked at IPPSR, it may appear to some people that I fall asleep fairly frequently. Falling asleep at work seems to be the least of my worries. I got the see the true nature of Eric, or well his drunken side. Maybe that's a better way of saying it. Dude is getting severely close to douche-bag status. 2am in the morning I'm woken by loud rock music, and what sounds like a mild party. I walk into the kitchen to find Eric, some unnamed guy, who I assume is either a friend or a house mate I've yet to meet, and some cute girl which would either be Eric's girlfriend or an unexpected house mate I have yet to meet.
I hang around a bit laughing as Creeps (the guy at the table other than Eric) has finished off his macaroni and is now digging into Eric's bowl. Eric's girlfriend seems friendly and respectable enough. Eric on the other hand is currently trying to win some sort of asshole award. Shortly he retrieves a dish towel, spins it and begins towel whipping Creeps petitioning him to stand and drop his pants. Creeps complied, and then he whips his bare read end. Moments earlier he made an anal sex joke to Creeps that he was going to fuck him without lubricant in the ass, since he made him Mac-n-cheese. “You owe me”. No idea, well I have some idea seems like Mr. Eric might be trying to test and see if I’m gay or not. Last night I heard him say faggot behind his closed door. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, he also brought out a Victoria’s Secret catalog to mess around with Creeps and possibly to see if he could get a “rise” out of me. Creeps was pretty wasted not only did he end up licking Eric’s calf; he was also caress and licking the catalog. Whatever, right? Tonight so far in just 30 minutes he’s just about turned me off about wanting to room here for the summer. I’ve already text the landlord to let him know I would like to talk with him later today.
I am not going to tolerate living in the same house as someone who is so disrespectful towards me, himself and another human being. Having Creeps lick his calf, expose himself to not only me but his girlfriend, and not to even mention his gay slur usage. I have dealt with that before my freshman year back in Holden Hall. I feel lucky that the other sublease I had lined up is only a few blocks away so if I do decide to move. I could definitely just carry things on my own.
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Current Location:East Lansing
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Subject:Move-Out & Move-In
Time:05:00 pm
Current Mood:boredbored
Nick's pretty awesome. I do hope that he learns to distinguish my voice from his other friend Trevor's though. He didn't except the $10.00 I offered for gas, his reasoning being that he gave me such a hard time yesterday with the whole name mix-up. Moving in now I recognize that I have probably brought too much stuff. The room looks to be about the size of my dorm room in McDonel. Well actually possibly a bit smaller in fact. I have met one house mate thus far, and seen one another guy; didn't have a chance to say hello or anything really since I was still in the process of moving my things into the room with Nick's help. Sitting here bored kind of makes me consider going out to find a random party, which is something I have never done.
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Subject:Interaction
Time:10:24 pm
Not sure if this is bitter frustration, but I feel as if I'm a toy or tool at times with my interactions with others. It is totally possible that I'm over analyzing the situation and maybe jumping to conclusions on the negative plane. Having fun with someone can be one thing, but then wanting more and feeling as if you might only be a toy in the box or a pit stop feels a bit wrong. Overall, I had a totally other direction to take this post but as soon as I started to type it went down this downtrodden pity, woeful path.
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[icon] Jack's Lament
View:Recent Entries.
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